2012 Wankery Begins…

G’day, Death here. I gotta speak up on this one:

Man, this crap really ticks me off…

Jerk-off Roland Emmerich and Hollywood are cashing in on the 2012 Doomsday paranoia that is flooding the internet quicker than a killer tsunami.

In case you’ve been living in a fall-out shelter for the last few years, you may not be aware that a whole slew of morons out there actually believe the World is gonna end on December 21st, 2012. They base this on the fact that an ancient Mayan Calendar ends on that date (it doesn’t, but that’s a whole different issue, just Google ‘2012 debunked’ to get the full story. Or check out this great transcript). The problem I have (among many) is that none of these fucktards can actually agree on how the World will end. Some of the theories include: Killer Comet, Polar Shift, Climate change, Planet X collision with Earth, Alien Invasion, etc, etc… the list goes on. All of these theories can be debunked in an instant by anyone with any rational thought, however this doesn’t stop plenty of douche-bags out there trying to cash in on all this Apocalyptic Paranoia. And now it seems it’s Hollywood’s turn with the release later this year of the film 2012.

Emmerich is a dick who is incapable of making a decent picture, yet he seems to be Hollywood’s go-to man when it comes to dealing out C-grade trash. Yeah, he’s the cretin responsible for ‘Independence Day’, ‘Godzilla’, ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ and the latest entry into the annuls of High Art, ‘10,000BC’. Seems he’s finally hit the bottom of the barrel with ‘2012’.

I got nothing against studios wanting to make money. Shit, they have to in order to keep pumping out films. But really, must they stoop this low for source material? I just don’t get what good can come of a film like this. a) it will suck. Its Roland Emmerich. b) it will fuel paranoia in those too ignorant to seek out the real truth about 2012 prophecy (ie: it’s a crock of horse shit) and c) it will perpetuate the notion that Hollywood really has run out of ideas and lacks the balls to put something that is truly unique and exciting up on the screen.

Anyway, I’ve ranted enough about this bollocks, go check out the trailer for this year’s wank-fest.

See you all in 2013.

MORE THOUGHTS…: So this whole 2012 Doomsday crud started with some Mayan Calendar, right? Well here’s some things you gotta bare in mind:

  • Firstly the Mayan Calendar doesn’t ‘end’ in 2012. It merely resets just like our Gregorian Calendar does after December 31st. All Mayan scholars agree on this. The issue is that their calendars went for millennia whereas ours are only 365 days long.
  • If the Mayans were such great prophets why did they not foresee their own demise at the hands of the Spanish Conquistadors? Huh?
  • If the Mayans were so clever, knowing all this shit that we don’t, then why didn’t they build nuclear power plants, hover cars and spaceships? Oh yeah, because they were too busy building shit out of stone and wood and over-farming their land while western civilisation moved into the industrial age. Dumb Mayans.
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