Death Sentences: Another Hollywood Twat

Damn, Hollywood is dumb.

And by that I don’t mean the suburb of Hollywood, (although I’m sure the concrete, soil and neon that hold that dump together contain more brain cells than most of its residents) I mean the cretinous douche-bags that manage to actually have creative input into the turgid crap that comes out of there.

Mark Millar, some no-name who made that shit-fest nobody saw called ‘Wanted’, is poncing about Hollywood trying to drum up some media interest in his treatment for a new SUPERMAN trilogy. I won’t bother trying to speak for the dude, lets hear from the idiot himself:

“It’s gonna be like Michael Corleone in the Godfather films, the entire story from beginning to end, you see where he starts, how he becomes who he becomes, and where that takes him. The Dark Knight showed you can take a comic book property and make a serious film, and I think the studios are ready to listen to bigger ideas now.”

“I want to start on Krypton, a thousand years ago, and end with Superman alone on Planet Earth, the last being left on the planet, as the yellow sun turns red and starts to supernova, and he loses his powers.”

As regular readers of this blog will know, we here at the SK Citadel are big DC Comic fans. And at the top of the DC Pantheon sits Superman. Now unfortunately, good Superman movies are few and far between. And of all the superheroes that deserve a decent film franchise, Superman must be at the top of the list. Sadly, Bryan Singer’s 2006 wank-fest Superman Returns did nothing to shore up Supes’s immediate cinema success.

Now this Millar jerk wants to a) re-tell Superman’s origin, like the whole freakin’ world doesn’t already know what it is and b) portray Superman’s whole life leading up to the end of our Earth. What a fuckwit.

Firstly, Millar, DC and Warners would NEVER let anybody show the end of Superman’s life. You get that? Nobody. Certainly not some jumped up arse-clown who has an over inflated view of his non-existent talent. Secondly, anyone who uses the Godfather as an analogy of what they want to do in a Superman movie is a pretentious twat. Superman is not a mafioso prick plotting behind others’ backs. He’s friggin’ Superman. We’re not interested in family politics and machinations. We wanna see Superman hand some planet-destroying super-villain his arse for two hours straight without pausing every two minutes for some deep, boring introspection.

The Dark Knight showed you can take a comic book property and make a serious film.

No it didn’t, douche-bag, SUPERMAN THE MOVIE did that in 1978. Unfortunately since then we’ve had fuck-tards like Joel Schumacher let loose on properties like Batman which sent the perception of Comic Book movies back 30 years. Comic book movies can always been done well. Sadly, Hollywood feels the need to screw with the source material to a point where it barely resembles the original comics in the first place. What good comic book adaptations do well is stick close to the source. I think what Dark Knight did was REMIND people that comics can provide a great source for film so long as the story is right and the producers remain faithful to the source.

What Millar has in mind, just sounds to me like another nail in the cinematic coffin of Superman.

Idiot.

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One Response to “Death Sentences: Another Hollywood Twat”

  1. My god. I only hope that at some point Hollywood suffers a cataclysmic event that sees it disappear up into it’s own arse forming some sort of ego-fueld black hole that consumes all studio wank-pots within the event horizon.

    As a superman fan (I’m no expert mind you, but a fan) I don’t think it has ever been suggested that Kal-El has a life span beyond that of an earth man. As far as i can tell, he ages just like we do, and as such, he wouldn’t be around beyond his alotted 90 or so years. Just look at ‘Kingdom Come’ for example – he’s greying and clearly middle-aged (but still a bad-guy smashing tank of justice!)

    The point being – here’s YET ANOTHER example of some cock not understanding the very nature of what he wants to explore. Just another attempt to use a classic property to further the career of some talentless dweeb.

    “…The Dark Knight showed…” – What?!?! This idiot didn’t have enough vision and maturity of his own and needed another film to show him what can be done with 50+ years of material to draw on?!? He claims to be a filmmaker?! Yet THESE guys are capable of being handed millions by studios to take a massive sloppy dump on our glorious comic heritage.

    The director of WANTED can keep his pale reflection of comic greatness. Touch Superman with those hands? No thanks.

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