Death Sentences 2: Trash Talking Losers

Yeah, Death here again.

I was just reading the previous article about video games (yes, I CAN read, bastards) and it got me thinking. Thinking about something that’s been really pissing me off lately. I’m talking about Video Game Trash Talkers. Yeah, that’s right. You know who you are, scumbags!

I admit, I play my fair share of Video Games. Ok, so I’m not plugged in 24/7 like some of those fat-arsed, wastes-of-space that wouldn’t know what daylight feels like, but I play my fair share. And I’m pretty damn selective in what I waste my life on. A game’s gotta be good if its gonna get face-time with Death. Dig?

My current game of choice is HALO 3. I play other stuff but I keep coming back to this gem. I’ve clocked the campaign several times over so now I like to play it mainly online. I’m pretty new to the Xbox Live community and have only been online gaming for a few months. It’s been a reasonably pleasant experience. There’s nothing I like more than wasting pre-pubescent nerds around the Globe and watching my ranking rise. But lately the whole experience has become somewhat tainted. Tainted by dumb-arse, trash-talking, douche-bags.

HALO 3 has been on the market for a good 6 months now so most people playing online think they’re pretty shit-hot. My favourite online mode is TEAM SLAYER where I’m teamed with 3-7 other gamers of similar skill in a Team-on-Team Deathmatch. It’s great fun and highly recommended. Players can talk to one another while they play via a headset. When you get a team of decent, mature dudes it becomes a lot of fun. But occasionally you’ll come across a team of absolute arse-clowns who like nothing more than to slag you off big-time no matter how well you play.

For example, I may have just logged on, joined a random team and started playing. I may be a bit hung-over from the night before or a little off my game if it’s my first of the day. As a result I may rank last in my team. What happens? This happens:

“Death you ***** noob! Quit playing you ****er! You suck yo’ mama’s ****s you *****! **** off our team!” etc etc.

It really gets on my tits. So I quit the team and join another, then another till I find one with human beings on it. And I gotta say, most of these Trash Talkers are young Americans. It’s not a racist comment. It’s FACT. As soon as I find a team with a bunch of Aussies or Kiwis the vibe changes altogether and the gaming experience becomes so much more enjoyable.

Unfortunately 80% of the Online gaming community is American. I got nothing against Americans. I like a lot of American people. But what the Hell is going on with their culture that gives rise to such anonymous anger?! Trash Talking could prevent many ‘newbies’ from getting into games. And that would suck. Games should be fun. And never taken seriously. People who take games seriously are freakin’ losers and need to explore what life has to offer beyond their grease-ridden, turgid, self-indulgent lives.

So take heed, Trash Talkers. Because you may win the battles, but Death will OWN the War!


4 Responses to “Death Sentences 2: Trash Talking Losers”

  1. Yeah – you tell’em Death. There’s nothing more pathetic than an angry young nerd who likes to indulge the misdirected fantasy that they are elevated above the rest of us due to them having spent slightly more time sitting on their fat arse in a desperate attempt to be good at something. Ironically, in a passtime traditionally the forum for kids, it’s adults who allow for a more enjoyable experience in these cases.

  2. suburbanknights Says:

    Damn straight. And let’s not even mention the act of ‘Tea-bagging’. A totally lame gesture made in-game by fuck-wits with no life. Maybe Tea-bagging will be the subject of a future Death Sentence rant.

  3. Just look at WOW – there’s a definite reason why the number of aussies and kiwis playing went up so fast once they established Aussie servers. Playing with the yanks was a pain in the arse and dealing with their gaming egos, juevenille ‘ghey’ jokes, and shitty spelling all day long was making us want to slash our wrists.
    Anyway – aussies and kiwis are better players. We don’t tend to get all weird and serious, despite being top of the game. And you don’t get that feeling that you might just be dungeon raiding with one straaaange little puppy. Maybe it’s just me, but I got some freaky comments from players when I was on the American servers that I just don’t seem to get when I play on the Pacific servers.
    And the best guild leader I’ve ever had was a 45 year old housemum from Geelong! Enough said.

  4. suburbanknights Says:

    Yeah, World of Warcraft. You’re getting deep into uber-nerd territory there. I’ve never played it. Probably never will. I reckon Mrs. Death would file for divorce if I even entertained the idea. The thing I dig about online Halo is that its a very immediate and fast experience. Games last 10 minutes, 20 minutes max. If you’ve got half an hour to kill, you can get online, play a few games, own some nerds and its over. WoW sounds more like a lifestyle choice. It scares me a bit. And it doesn’t surprise me that there are some seriously freaky geeks lurking around in that sub-culture. Still it doesn’t give them the right to slag you off! Freakin’ neeeerrrrrrdddds! Maybe if one or two of them actually opened a window for once in their lives they may behave differently.

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