Welcome Padawans and Apprentices

Darth Death here……okay, so I’m kinda new to this whole blogging thing. So be patient. Patience, I said! Shut up! Anyway, I suppose I’d better welcome you geeks to the new SUBURBAN KNIGHTS blog. This whole blog thing was Obi Wan-Ker’s idea. The next time I see him I’m gonna kick his arse for lumbering me with having to post on this thing on a regular basis. Bastard.
I’ll be back soon. I’m going for a beer.



11 Responses to “Welcome Padawans and Apprentices”

  1. I think Suburban Knights episode 1 is arguably the most relevant contribution to modern art since ‘Ugroo the bear slayer’ first smeared dung upon his cave wall.

  2. suburbanknights Says:

    Your insight serves you well. Nerd.

  3. suburbanknights Says:

    As a footnote it should also be said that all modern art is crap. Period. Andy Warhol? Tosser. Roy Lichtenstein? Plagiarist. Dada? Wanker’s movement for talentless hacks. If you want REAL modern ART. You’ll find it in the works of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg (pre 1982) or Paul Verhovoen (sans Showgirls). Or in the masterworks of George Perez, Ethan Van Sciver or Ralph McQuarrie. Or in the performance art of Barry Hall or Tony Lockett. That’s ART, man. Art for the masses. Now sod off.

  4. Good work Uber geeks, you should be proud of the most highly produced excuse-for-playing-with-your-starwars-toys ever known to man.

    Long Live the Men who still play with Dolls!

    Now do another one. And make a podcast. Sheesh! Get with the times! God damn Star wars fans living in the 70s…

  5. suburbanknights Says:

    Thanks for the kind (if slightly arse-kissing) words, Padawan. What’s so bad about the 70s? Sure they gave us that travesty called Disco, but they also gave us brilliance like Led Zeppelin, CCR, Jaws, Close Encounters, Women in tight clothing and one more thing…….oh yeah, F*ckin’ STAR WARS, man!

  6. Now, mankind can finally live in peace knowing obi-wanker and darth death are far too busy plotting to destroy each other to bother us.

  7. suburbanknights Says:

    Don’t get too comfy ‘peter’. The Knights can always find time to kick some random arse!

  8. ToTiedToThinkOfCoolHandle Says:

    V Cool dudes! This is a documentary of course, warning us of the impending sith/jedi war that is about to rain down on us, right?

  9. suburbanknights Says:

    Correct. The war is coming. So be warned. If I were you I’d take cover now. Unless you’re some kinda sado-masochist freak who wants to get smashed from pillar to post. Maybe you are in which case, good luck. You’re gonna need it.

  10. Great to see you are looking after my old TV and cabinet so well.

    I have one question, why wasn’t Obi wan-ker drinking 2005 Premiership beer?

    That traitor………………….

  11. suburbanknights Says:

    Obi Wan-Ker wasn’t allowed. He who drinks the sacred beer of Glory will suffer the wrath of Death.

    Oh yeah…about that cabinet. I’m afraid we had to chop it up and sell it as firewood to fund the post-production of Episode 1. And the TV….we sold it to some homeless people to use as a house. Sorry.

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